A few things I've noticed.......

Being a new father (again) has given me an occasion to take notice of a few things. Some of these things are profound, some are just silly. Some are things that I knew and had forgotten about, and some are things that I never would have thought could be. Here are just a few things I’ve noticed…..

There just aren’t any ugly baby clothes. We’ve had a lot of baby clothes come though our house recently. Some new. Some used. Some given to us as hand-me-downs, and some were given as shower gifts. But the one thing they almost all have in common is that they passed the “Oh how cute!” approval ranking. Jumpers, P.J.’s, sleepers, and Onesies, they all receive high marks for cuteness. And it’s true, they all are quite cute. You can put a baby in just about anything under a size 2T and you can’t go wrong. I think the baby clothes designers must have had style inept fathers such as myself in mind when they made them. And only babies can get away with wearing some of the stuff that’s out there. I can’t imagine what my boss would say if I showed up to the office wearing a fuzzy blue jumpsuit with mittens and footies and “Daddy’s Little Slugger” stitched across the front. I’m sure I would get that long vacation I’ve always wanted.

Babies bring out the best in people. Stacy has written here about all of the help and support we’ve been given by friends and family. So many people have done so much for us, some of them far above and beyond the call. Without each and every one of those people, we never would have been able to make it through the ups and downs of the past four months (has it only been that long since we first got The Call?!?!) There’s something about a baby, or the prospect of a baby, that brings out a certain level of excitement and caring from people. The innocence, the wonder of God’s new creation, the dream of what the future holds. It all combines to bring out the finest in people. And I don’t just mean friends and family. I also mean the people you meet in everyday life. In line at the store. At the park. In the Post Office. Everyone, no matter how tough and grizzled, has a smile and a coo for a little baby. Of course, some people can take a good thing too far. Like the lady yesterday at the Costco with her several children and her husband. She just couldn’t gasp and Ooh and Ahh enough. She encouraged her kids to all look at the baby, and the gaze on her face was one of utter joy and rapture. The look on the husbands face was “No! Don’t even think about it! We are not having another! Step away from the baby now!”

Dogs love binkies. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the way the silicone rubber feels in Fido’s jaws, firm, yet relenting. Maybe dogs love them for the same reasons a baby loves them. They feel a soothing assurance with a binkie. I’ve heard the theory that they “smell” the milk from the baby’s breath on it, and that attracts them. I suspect that with our dogs, it’s the track-and-kill-the-prey mentality that is ingrained in all animals. The better we try to hide it, the more of a challenge for them. They have been known to leap over or climb up any obstacles we throw their way to reach their coveted prize. Score so far: Dogs 4, Binkies 0.

Broken hearts can be fixed. Six months ago, if you had told me that I would have a newborn baby in my house, I would have thought you were crazy. Six months ago, or one year, or two years ago, if you would have told me that the hole in my heart that Cori once filled would be filled once again with the love and joy that she brought us, I would have thought that it was wishful thinking on your part and that you were just trying to cheer me up. But today, I can say today that God will take the pain and suffering and turn it into happiness. Through Molly, He has given me that spark again, the reason for facing the day. The thing that amazes me is that through it all, He knew. He knew that one day I would be Daddy again. I remember holding Molly when she was just a few hours old and thinking that God knew this moment would happen. When I was the same size as her, He knew. When He took Cori home, in my moment of deepest sorrow, He knew that one day I would be holding a little girl who would take that sorrow away. I still miss Cori Joy, and there is a part of her in me that will never be replaced and never be fulfilled, until one day I meet her in heaven, but until that day comes, Stacy and I will never cease to be thankful for the precious gift He gave us in Molly Faith.

Time flies

Molly FaithCori Joy

Yesterday was Molly's 4 week birthday! Thursday she will be one month old! I can't believe its been 4 weeks already.



Molly was a very popular little girl this last weekend. On Saturday she went to her first jewelry party! What a wonderful time we all had. HUGE thanks to Cookie Lee consultant-Lydia Dacy and Sensaria consultant-Dot Doheny-also to Alex- Lydia's daughter- These lovely women all donated their entire day and any profit to Molly's adoption fund! Thanks to Kim for having the open house and all the great ladies who came by to shop and give Molly a kiss! For those who may not have been able to come-Lydia is keeping the party open until September 30. If you mention us when you order online www.cookielee.biz/lydiadacy we will get the proceeds. Thanks again to everyone involved.



Sunday was Molly's first "Pot Blessing". A pot blessing is just like a Pot Luck but where you count your blessings not your luck! And blessed she was! Lots of good food and some very special gifts. Molly is a very loved child, by everyone who meets her!



Other exciting news-Molly slept for 6 hours the night before last! Of course it was Dad's shift that night-and she was back to every 3 hours last night but it does give me hope!



Last week at the Pediatrician Molly weighed 8lbs 5 ounces-so I guess those every 3 hour feedings are doing their job!



Continued thanks to everyone who continues to keep us in their prayers, we could not have done this all without them!

Letter from God

There is a scripture in Romans that talks about how nothing can separate us from the love God has for us.

When Cori died a friend gave me a book of "Letters from God". I was looking at it again today.

I want to share an excerpt from it:

My Dear Child:
There is something blazing in My heart that I yearn for you to know and hold on to. And this is it: My love, which came down to you in the person of My perfect Son, Jesus, is complete, full, unchangeable, and eternal. It is the one gift that circumstances can neither alter or steal away.

Nothing you will face in this life is powerful enough to come between you and My love for you. My love will be your one constant in the shifting landscape of a transient universe. It is...an open door when you are hungry and homeless...a warm embrace when you are lost and alone...a safe harbor when you are tossed by the storms of life and a warm fire when the world has turned you out in the cold. So hold on to this truth as a treasure in your heart.

I love you forever,
God

We are able to tell how many visitors the website has on a given day. Not who you are, but how many times someone came. One day I was astonished that there were over 100 visits!

If you only knew how much I pray that each of you will share with me the eternal home of Heaven! I can't imagine a greater joy than one day being witness to the real "eternal" impact these two beautiful children-Cori Joy and Molly Faith had-that people examined their lives and faith and came to know Jesus as their personal savior. Only God could do something that amazing!!

Praise Problems!

I read a daily devotional and there was one this week that I just have to share with everyone.
This one is from David Jeremiah:
"When faced with a problem or need, don't complain, panic or doubt God. Problems are opportunities for us to praise God in advance for the solutions He'll give. These are Praise-Problems! Facing difficulty just now? Thank God for what He's going to do. He knows how to make bitter waters into better waters and how to bring forth streams in the desert.

I confess I am not always able to turn my problems into praise, but it is something I am praying to be able to do more and more. I do know that worrying doesn't do any good-though it is certainly where most of us start.

I'd like to be able, with God's help to teach Molly as she grows up that there is nothing we face in our life times that surprises God, or that He isn't willing to be right there with us, lifting us up, urging us forward or holding us in the comfort of His arms-we just have to remember to let Him be God and trust always that what He brings us to...He'll bring us through.

We were so blessed this week to hear from both our birth mom and her twin sister. We have a small package of pictures on the way to M and look forward to next summer when we may be able to meet other members of her family!

I am reminded of Luke 6:38

Jesus words: "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you".

May our Lord pour out His blessings to everyone who has prayed for us, who has given both in time and resources-we can only say Thank You, but may your laps be overflowing with His blessings for what you have and are doing for us!

This is going into Molly's 3rd week of life. She is doing really well-except for some reason we aren't doing too well sleeping at night. Maybe gassy, maybe just night and day mixed up...not sure but Dad and Mom aren't getting alot of sleep! We trade off though and I am always thanking God for giving me a husband who participates in not only all the fun stuff regarding baby but all the stuff thats not so fun too!

My niece and good friend Kim is having a "Cookie Lee" jewelry party at her home on September 15. The "Cookie Lee" representative has graciously offered to donate all the profit from the party to Molly's Adoption Fund! I know many of you are from out of town and can't go. You can go on to this website and order and mention in the note section or what have you that this is for the Molly Berndtson adoption and we'll get the credit-how great is that! I understand that "Cookie Lee" jewelry is quality made, and a great value. www.cookielee.biz/lydiadacy

Week Two

The second week of life with baby is supposed to be a little easier and stress free than the first…supposed to being the imperative words!

I’ve been trying to fit in some work from home along with my new duties as Mommy. My sister offered to come out Tuesday for a few hours so I could go into the office, train some new people and pick up some work.

Shortly after I got home and fed Molly, she turned blue again. It was quite scary. I laid her down and blew in her face and stuck my finger in her mouth(a feeble attempt I suppose at “clearing the airway”). This caused her to gag a bit and then she seemed to “pink” up.

A call to the Pediatrician and we were on our way to their office. An exam didn’t show anything specific but since we’d "been here done that" before they decided to admit her to St. Joes in Bellingham for observation.

Going back to that hospital with our daughter was very very hard on me. That’s where we said goodbye to our first daughter and again all the old fears and anxieties come rushing back. I’m grateful that once informed, everyone involved seemed to understand these thoughts and feelings of mine because they knew what we’d been through before.

Twenty four hours later Molly had not had any desaturations on her oxygen monitor and seemed to be doing fine. There had been talk of sending us down to Children’s Hospital(which would have been another VERY hard moment for mom and dad) but the pediatrician on call said she just didn’t think it was necessary to start all those interventions yet. She offered to send us home with a portable oximeter and some oxygen “just in case” we needed it. Because we had this equipment with Cori, it was not as intimidating to us as it might have been if we had not had that experience.

So we’ve been home now since Wednesday night at about 8:30pm and all has been well for the most part. She turned bluish once with me here but didn’t require oxygen. She turned this way again yesterday with both Steve and I present. Her saturations did fall as she was turning color but she also seemed to be pushing or struggling with a poop or something which led us to think maybe she holds her breath when she is straining. Her sats came back up after a bit and we used no oxygen. The doctors has told us to try and time it and see if the episodes lasted longer than 20 seconds. Apnea is classified as episodes of not breathing, longer than 20 seconds. So far we haven’t had a timer right there when it happened but it probably didn’t last 20 seconds or if it did just that much before she started to look pinker.

Other than THAT, we are doing fine! She is so precious and we love her SO much! We are both pretty tired but she has slept a couple nights for 4-5 hours without waking or fussing so we have hope that completely sleepless nights won’t last!

Thanks to everyone for their continued prayers. We haven’t heard anything from our attorney as to the birth father and whether he’s contacted them or signed his relinquishment papers or not. Court date for that-one way or the other is September 11.

My niece Kim is holding a Cookie Lee jewelry sale where all the profit from the sale will go to our adoption fund. If anyone likes Cookie Lee jewelry and would like to place an order with Kim so that our adoption fund could benefit, let me know and I’ll pass on her email address.